Attention to the vicious circle, linked to the way we perceive a conflict: the more we perceive conflict as a bad and unpleasant thing, the more we tend to avoid it at all costs.

We deny the existence of the conflict until the conflict has deteriorate so much that a constructive resolution does not seem possible.

Or we fight at the first sign, to stop the conflict immediately, leaving the winners on the ‘battlefield’. A constructive dialogue between counter-parties is impossible in both of the ways described.

If you want to improve your conflict management skills, rethink your ‘typical’ approach when you handle a conflict.

typical approach

This approach is of great importance because it affects:

  • your perceptions: do you recognize where and when a conflict will arise, or do you not recognize the signals?
  • your feelings: do you react to conflicts with anxiety, or face them with courage and determination?
  • your behaviour: do you address conflict in an active, open and cooperative manner, or do you avoid it, defend yourself, react aggressively?

Perceptions, feelings and behaviours immediately reflect on the conflict resolution dynamic.

Its success, as well as its failure, influences the initial approach to the next conflict, creating a virtuous or a vicious circle.