Good preparation for a confrontational talk is fundamental and essential for its success.

In the case of a confrontational talk, remember:

1. Become aware of your emotional state and your needs
If you feel irritated or attacked, it is useful to shed light on what caused that feeling first. It is important that you are aware of your observations, perceptions and interpretations of reality, but also of your unmet needs, or needs compromised by the situation.

2. Define your objectives
Remember to define not only the minimum and maximum target relative to the subject in question, but also the goal regarding the relationship with your partner.

3. Put yourself in the shoes of the other
Typically in a conflict, we first consider our point of view, which we defend reactively, against the other. To ensure the effectiveness of the talk, it is important that you ask, before the talk, how the other sees the situation, what their wants and needs are and what is important to her/him.

4. Creating the right environment
A confrontational talk should never tackled on the fly, but announced well in advance, and take place in a pleasant and undisturbed environment. The golden rule to identify the ‘right’ moment to express critical feedback is to do it at the first emotionally possible time, that is; if the person's behaviour has angered you so much that emotional control is almost impossible, you should sleep on it and bring up the subject the following day.

preparation