The “traffic lights rule” is a metaphor that will help you learn how to react appropriately if you receive negative feedback or direct criticism.
YELLOW: When you receive feedback or criticism you first need to understand what the other person is talking about (content) and what is at stake in emotional terms (relationship).
Turn on the YELLOW light, that is listen openly, resisting the temptation to excuse and defend yourself, explaining your behaviour. At the same time, consider whether the criticism/feedback is expressed in respectful and non-offensive terms.
RED: If the feedback is offensive, inappropriate or disrespectful, immediately stop the other person and agree the way in which the dialogue is to take place (e.g. respect, listening). Turn on the RED light. In the event that this agreement is not respected, it is legitimate to stop the dialogue and possibly postpone it to a later time.
GREEN: If you receive a feedback that is expressed in an acceptable manner, from the outset, turn on the GREEN light.
Listen to the other person, in an open and empathetic manner, summarizing what has been brought up by the discussion, verbalizing your emotional state, expressing your perceptions and your needs, looking for possible solutions with the other.